Words are not enough to show how troubled I am.

It's hard to work on a group project when there's no sense of "group unity" in the first place. Having been on either extreme sides on a group several times before, it's also similarly hard to point fingers.

It's amazing, really, how group dynamics are similar wherever you go, whatever project you're on, whoever you're working with. Oh wait, there are exceptions to that of course, but I'll get to that later.

Group dynamics. I hope the following will just be my observations. It would be too depressing if they are indeed the trend among other group activities.

In a group, there will always be the alpha, the leader, the dominant party. There are several ways as to how that entity assumed such a role; sometimes by age, seniority, ability, charisma, or even by default. Anyway, that's not significant. No matter what the circumstances are, there will always, ALWAYS be someone leading the pack. That "someone" may of course not be just a single unit. It may be several persons, too.

Now, there will also be the sub, the follower. They may choose to follow the alpha by will, or by rule. They have this sense of belonging to the group they're in, and so will follow the flow dictated by the leader. Or perhaps, they are bound by the group, and has no choice but to blend among the members.

Notice how I'm describing a group in the sense of an animal pack.

Human packs work similarly on the simplest term, but being humans whose minds are more complex, so are the dynamics.

Of all the group activities I've participated in, I have yet to join one who has diverted from the norm (in my point of view, that is).

In a group, there will always be someone who will lead. Sometimes they will take up the responsibility willingly, mainly because they like the project/task assigned to them and already has an idea as to how to manage the group. Sometimes though, they are there by default. No one wants to lead in the first place. Left in limbo, someone is bound to assume the role out of fear for the consequences (low grades, failing grades, angry teachers, hurt pride, etc).

The rest are followers.

In an animal pack where the tasks are dictated by instinct alone, every individual can work in sync with each other, perhaps because they share the same instincts (duh, they are a pack). In a human pack however, things are more complicated. The tasks appointed are not usually a matter of life and death (literally speaking). They are requirements by the institutions they currently belong in (school).

Left to their own devices, the following is usually observed (based on my observation).

It's hard to catch everybody's attention. The bigger the group, the harder it will be. Not everybody is interested and not everybody is willing to offer some input, thinking along the lines "Ah, someone will suggest anyway. I'll leave it to them." When majority's thinking about the same thing, we have a problem.

Compromise is a bitch, losers are bitter. If ever there comes a point where everybody has a say on matters, it's worse than migraine to come up with something that will satisfy every suggestion. Fact of life: you can't. Some ideas will turn out to be off-the-hook kind of ideas and will be rejected. So, the owners will feel bitter and be apathetic about the whole thing at the least, retaliate or rebel at worst.

Those without direct roles assigned will most likely stand by and watch. Is it me or are only those in-charge of the several sub-departments working actively? Am I wrong to think that people are only visible in the production process when they know they have something definite to work on and not just assigned to a rather broad task such as "props"?

It's sooo much easier to belong to statistics than to actually be a candidate. The encouraging part here is that with your vote, you helped make a difference. Seriously! You may never know if your vote actually helped others with their decisions which in turn helped reaching a group resolution. It's a chain reaction. You vote, so someone will vote the same thing, causing another one to vote as well. The depressing part is it's hard to move on with that kind of attitude. Think about it.

/*Here goes the bitter part of me brought upon the several instances of failed group activities*/

When they call you "leader" most of them actually meant "all-around-handyman-personnel". Now, that's just plain stupid, if not so escapist-thinking. True a leader must know every going-ons in his or her group but that doesn't mean he or she must do spoon-feeding. But most of the time, that's just it. The leader is left to tie up all loose ends, as in all of it. Being given the chance to lead groups before, I myself know how troublesome and stressing those moments are. A few have driven me up at wall, even.

So much for that.

I'm posting this to alleviate the constricting pain I feel in the light of the current circumstances.

And as an answer to a certain blockmate's blog post as well.

During Saturday's discussion, I participated there knowing full well there would be dire repercussions. I also knew that it was an act of rebellion. Or perhaps, retaliation would be an alternative term.

With that, I apologize to everyone who was aggravated, especially the original people taking charge of things. It was an act out of retaliation with the way things were going.

I do not plan to defend the other side, knowing someone else is better to do it. Still, I also do not plan on chickening out.

What I do hope, though, is for reconciliation and compromise. It would be a pity and a sorry loss on both blocks concerned if all civility and camaraderie would go poof! just because of this activity (DPSM week) which ironically was intended to strengthen the bonds between the two.

Reconciliation. Peace. Apologies. I'm willing to give up pride if it might help solve the ever rising tension. I'm sure the others share the same sentiments. We were all at fault, one way or another. Even I acknowledge my shortcomings. Again I apologize, especially to our blockhead who worked so hard to keep all things together.

Compromise. Albeit morbidly uplifting, voicing out your protests with only your allies as audience is nothing short of waste of breath. We will not reach any moot point by doing that.

/*Wow, another open forum or conference? Will that help? Baka lumala lang ang sitwasyon. Pero kung kaya, then go.*/

I end this (rather lengthy and perhaps shallow to some) post with full sincerity of my apologies and hope that everything will be settled soon.

We have just begun this journey, friends. Please, let it not start with animosity hiding just behind our backs. It won't be of benefit any time in the future.

Cheers.

(PS. Please, I wish to hear your sides. Comment on this.)